Livin' The Dream

1997 was the year my little Sunfire was born. Back then, the 14 year old me, thought nothing was cooler, sleeker or awesomer than the new two-door, Pontiac Sunfire. Especially those teal ones I'd seen driving around town! How lucky were those people! It was my dream car. Maybe, if I played my cards right, I could own one of those beautiful cars one day.

Fast forward 10 years.

The 24 year old me had never owned a car. But when my job required that I have a job, my dad knew a guy(as dad's often do) that had an available car. All I knew was that it was cheap. Excellent. All I was really looking for at that point. My dad and I drove to the shop, walked in and when we turned the corner, I couldn't believe my eyes. A teal, two-door, 1997 Pontiac Sunfire. It was happening. After all these years, I was getting my dream car. Sure it had a dent on the side, over 170,000 km's and it looked like someone had taken a baseball bat to the windshield-I was in love. I drove it back home and began looking on baby name websites to find the perfect name for my lovely car(true story)!

Fast forward 4 years.

After a rough few months, Elaine, or Laney, has decided to take a break from driving me around. And so she sits outside my house, patiently waiting for me to have the funds to make her feel like cruising our city streets. After another few months, a lonely Laney gets taken to the shop to get fixed up! She was there only 2 days, but as I walked from the bus stop to the auto shop, I had butterflies. As if I were about to be reunited with a long lost friend. My eyes scanned the parking lot and landed on my perfectly imperfect car. I am so excited to drive I actually squeal a little.

Fast forward 4 days.

I haven't driven for almost three months and during that time, I think I romanticized Laney's abilities. It didn't matter that she was 14 years old, now had over 250,000 km's under her belt and rust damage. All she needed was some clutch fluid and it'll be like she came right off the lot! It took me four days for that to wear off. Now, I'm realizing that I need to come to grips with the fact that Laney won't be with me forever. She may not even last the year. So I'm cherishing every second I get to drive around on a sunny day(after I crank the manual windows down) or cruise down the highway late at night(intermittently turning on and off the heat to reach the perfect temperature because it only works on full blast).

There have been some ups and downs in our relationship but I have loved my car from the start. And when that day comes that I have to say goodbye, I'll take solace in the fact that for a short time in my life, I was lucky enough to drive that 1997 teal Sunfire. I was livin' the dream.

Taxicab Confessions

I've been in my fair share of cabs and I know that you never know what kind of driver you're going to get. You could get a Chatty Cathy who's going to talk to you no matter what, even if you don't respond. You could get one that says hello, goodbye and nothing else. Or you could get one that insists that you are going to join in the conversation.

Today, I had a Chatty Cathy. These are my personal favorite kind of drivers. Mostly because it's usually fairly entertaining. Here's some excerpts from today's drive. When I realized he was giving me some gems, I hopped on my phone and started writing down what he was saying. Keep in mind that most of time I'm responding with customary Mm-hm's and Yup's. A few For sure!'s thrown in for good measure.

After he heard I was at a graduation of a friend, a potentially inspiring little speech takes a seemingly fatal and certainly depressing turn at the end. I didn't know what to think of this one:

'Life is like a ladder. You climb up the steps one at a time. You climb and climb and climb and then you fall down. When there's no more steps, you fall down and you don't get back up.'

Then he asked if I had watched the Royal Wedding. When I said no, he said that he had watched the highlights and apparently he had some opinions. For this part, keep in mind that he's a middle aged Middle Eastern man.

'They kept it simple. Everyone thought the dress was so fancy but no. There was nothing fancy about it, very simple. Very simple. Very beautiful. I like her style. It's like Cinderella! All that's missing is the slipper. She's just an average person. Her family is a normal family. Just imagine her mother. She gave birth to a daughter and one day she becomes queen. For her mother, it's probably the best moment of her life. It's like a cartoon story on DVD.'

He was fascinated but apparently, his wife didn't share the sentiment. :)

'I was more into it than my wife. She was like, 'Shut this off!'

My favorite line- "I like her style." He was so awesome. I hope, against all odds, I get him again sometime in my life.

What Came First The Music Or The Mood?

Music has always been a big part of my life. In my adult life, especially since I've lived by myself, I find that I use music to help me articulate how I'm feeling. I don't have someone here to vent to, so I turn to music. Although I do talk to my family on the phone(and to myself, although not on the phone), there's something to be said about someone 'hearing' you in your own space. When I hear a song that perfectly expresses how I'm feeling, I feel like I've been heard. Like someone gets it. However, all the different times that music has helped me feel heard, or sort out my feelings, I sometimes fight feelings of skepticism.

It's the chicken and egg question of music and mood.

Do I listen melancholy music because I'm feeling a bit blue or mellow, or is it because I turn on that kind of music that those feelings come to the surface?

One of my favorite things in the world is listening to music that just sort of, melts over you. It's like a breath of clean air for my heart. I'm trying my best not to over think it and just be grateful that time and time again, it soothes my soul.

A Fight I Didn't Know I Was In

Tonight, after working at the bookstore, I climbed into my car, turned it on and got out again to brush the light layer of snow from my windows. I got back in and dropped my snow brush on the floor behind my seat and began the journey home. As I'm pulling out of the parking lot, I look in my rear view mirror and notice that there's snow on the mirror. I think, "Where did that come from?" Then else something catches my eye, I look up onto the ceiling of my car and it's spattered with snow! I look in my backseat, snow everywhere! What looks like the point of impact of a large snowball is on the backside of the passenger's seat and I am dumbfounded. What in the world is going on?! I think back and know that I didn't throw my brush into the back seat nor was there enough snow on it to cause this display. Did someone throw a snowball into my car? Maybe I left a door open? When I parked before going into work, there were two people walking by that kept looking back at my car, as if they were annoyed that I parked there. Could they have come back seeking vengeance for whatever crime I had committed against them? Who does something like that? I am baffled as I drive home. Even more so when I notice that it's not really melting as my car warms up.

I decide to take pictures when I get home and tell my tale of being attacked for no reason. Being ambushed. Targeted. Bullied. I am incensed and by golly people are going to hear about it! I park, whip out my camera and start snapping away. I start at the ceiling, working my way back to the backseat, catching a shot of the front passenger seat which is also covered. I want to get the best shot, to really show off the destructive power strangers can have. I'm getting the real money shot when I notice something in the drink holder of the back seat.

A pop can.

A pop can that was formerly full but is now bulging with the tell-tale signs of a recent explosion. It's not snow covering the inside of my car. It's green tea ginger ale.

I am...embarrassed, that I would jump to the always logical, a-stranger-broke-into-my-car-to-throw-snow-in-it-because-they-didn't-like-where-I-parked, conclusion. I am relieved, that that didn't actually happen. I am many things. But as I shake my head at myself and have a laugh I think about another situation I'm currently in that feels very similar to this.

A new co-worker of mine has struggled to see the innumerable reasons why it's a treat to work with me every day. From the get go, it seems she's had her mind made up that I'm not to be trusted. Or talked to. I've been confused from the start, but have tried to make headway with her. We started working together and she decided she didn't like where I parked and decided to sneak a few ginger ale bombs into my work day. Sometimes I'm tempted to lob them back at her but I resist. Maybe one day I'll realize, like I did tonight, that it's not intentional. It's not meant to be malicious. She just doesn't do too well in the cold.

When I Grow Up

I was reading a dear friend's blog the other day and she mentioned that one of her New Year's Resolution's is to figure out what she wants to be when she grows up. My friend is 26. I smiled as I read, simply because I've been thinking the same thing as of late-"What do I want to be when I grow up?" It's a question that we wonder about for years. We play pretend and imagine we're putting out fires or giving people needles. The possibilities are endless when you're little. You could be a doctor, a construction worker or a tiger! As you grow older, you realize you get queasy around blood, manual labor doesn't appeal to you and that life as a tiger isn't as glamorous as you once thought. Your interests begin to narrow and you start thinking about what you'd really like to do in life.

For years, I thought I destined to be a teacher. At the same time, I was interested in speech pathology, sign language and writing. In recent years, I completed my teaching degree and thought it was a pretty straightforward path from there. Get a teaching job at a great elementary school, teach for many years and retire as the greatest teacher ever. :) How wrong I was. After struggling for two years as a substitute teacher, and wondering how in world the school system works, I have begun to question what I want to be when I grow up. The 'working with kids' part has not changed-I love kids and love hanging out with them but I'm beginning to wonder what else I could do with my degree.

Over the past couple years, I have become heavily involved in the youth group at my church. I love it. Hanging out on Friday night with those teens is often the highlight of my week. I love it so much, it's made me question if I should be headed into full time youth ministry.

I have also intensely enjoyed my job at Chapters

as it has increased my love for books, children's books in particular. The idea of being a children's librarian sounds like heaven to me!

Through all of these recent developments, I still love the thought of being a teacher, specifically to deaf and hard of hearing kids!

I have so many things that I'm passionate about, it's hard to know what direction I should head in. What should I be when I grow up? I was talking with my friend who's thinking about that same question, I asked "Wouldn't it just be easier if you hated everything except for this one job which you love and just happened to be especially skilled at?"

It'd be easier, but probably a lot less fun. :)

I Love...

...that half of the teens in the youth group can't imagine me angry and the half that has seen me angry thinks it's terrifying .

...playing games.

...winning at games. Especially if I get to beat a family member.

...movie soundtracks. I don't know if it's because I associate them with great movies but I ADORE soundtracks. Remember The Titans, Once, Stranger Than Fiction, The Wedding Singer, I Am Sam, Walk The Line, My Girl, some of my most listened to CD's.

...when I get to take a Post-It off my wall because I've already done what it was reminding me to do!

...hilarious kids.

...dumb inside jokes. Sometimes you can figure out why an inside joke is funny. The people involved explain the situation and you can clearly see-that was hilarious. But I get a special joy when there's just no explaining it. "So, you accidentally called the guy a corn fritter? I still don't get it."

...when the dishes are done.

...hearing my nephews in the background when I talk to my sister on the phone. My youngest nephew is just about 6 months and I love hearing him babble to himself or laugh at something his brother is doing. My older nephew is 3 years old and sometimes it sounds like he's playing with someone but no, he just knows how to have a good time all by himself!

...being unexpectedly treated to a coffee. You meet up with a friend, fully expecting to get your own, and out of the blue you hear, "I got this".

...unexpectedly treating someone to a coffee. You meet up with a friend, they're fully expecting to get their own, and out of the blue you say, "I got this".

...I-have-to-watch-this-all-alone-because-the-amount-that-I-cry-when-I-watch-it-is-not-socially-acceptable movies. Sometimes ya just need a good cry.

...trying to figure out why a friend is laughing uncontrollably when no one else is. You're basically grasping at straws. "Is it that Sharon's eating a turkey sub? No? Ummm....Ryan's haircut is pretty funny lookin'-is it that? No? Oh. The corn fritter thing again? Yeah, I still don't get that."

...baby cuddles.

...recommending kids books to people. Please, please, please, ask what book you should get your toddler or your tween.

...when I have enough gumption to put the laundry away as soon as it comes out of the dryer. No fishing shirts and socks out of a pile on the couch for me-Ive got gumption!

...when I hear a song and it immediately transports me back to my high school cafeteria. Fastball's "Fire Escape", Christina Aguilera's "Genie In A Bottle", and definitely The Proclaimer's "I'm Gonna Be(500 Miles)"

...getting real mail.

...a hug when I really need one.

...triumphant sports movies. Everything about them.

...wearing scarves and mittens. Cute coziness!

...staying at my parent's house. I revert back to being a kid(it's not that big of a jump) and it's fantastic.

...how much I was in to The Beatles as a teen. Some of my favorite memories of my teen years center around some sort of Beatles music, movie, or activity.

Top 10 Retail Rules

I'm entering my second holiday season as a retail employee and already I can see the...lack of common sense that many of our customers seem to exhibit the closer Christmas gets. Reader, I'm sure you're a model retail shopper, always showing the best of manners and displaying common courtesy to all around you. If so, read on for purely entertainment purposes. But perhaps you're like the vast majority of the population and your brain short circuits the minute you walk into a shopping establishment, please, take note. I've outlined 10 of the basic retail rules, in no particular order, that you can follow to get the best shopping results and show the Christmas spirit to those around you. I work in a book store so some of them are book store specific, but with some minor context adjustments, I'm sure most of them can be applied to numerous retail settings.

1. Product displays are meant for displaying product.
They are not meant for the following:
-A place for you to sit.
-A place to pile stuff you've spent the last 2 hours looking at but now don't want to buy.
-A place to put your garbage.
-A place for you to sprawl across as you read a book.

2. If a store employee is clearly talking with and/or helping another customer, that's not your cue to jump in with your demands.
Store employees can see you waiting. If you patiently wait your turn, we'd be more than happy to give you our undivided attention, just like we did for the last guy.

3. Remember, when we ask if we can help you, it's not our attempt to insult you to your core.
If you're just looking around, that's great! When we ask if we can help, just let us know and we'll back right off. There's no need to roll your eyes, reply as if we've just kicked your dog or walk away as we're talking.

4. The friendlier and more understanding you are, the harder we want to work to find you what you want.
Generally, the floor staff you talk to are at the bottom of the retail food chain. Especially during the holiday season, when many are just hired for a few months. They're working as hard as they can to find you what you're looking for. If you're grumpy and/or unreasonable, it's not going to help your case.

5. We are not conspiring against you.
If the computer says a book is on the shelf and it's not there, we're not playing a trick on you. Books get misplaced, sometimes they take a while to find their home again and yes, sometimes, even books get stolen.

6. Kids Section does not equal babysitting service
Yes, we love kids and yes, we have a train table but we don't get paid enough to take care of your toddlers while you go get a coffee or peruse the magazines. Is it really that shocking when they wander off and you can't find them? Don't leave your kids unattended!

7. Come informed!
Especially during the holiday season, it's best to come in with as much information as you can when looking for a book. Descriptors like, "It was blue" or "I think it had unicorns in it" usually don't get you very far. Sometimes you can get lucky but don't count on it. Also, ask questions in your head before you share them with the public. When you ask questions like, "Excuse me, do you know all the stories?", you're just asking to be talked about in the staff room.

8. The employee you're talking to has no control over the price of your book
Many books are printed in the US and then shipped to Canada. It goes through more people to get up to our fine country, thus it costs more and is sold for more. It has little to do with the exchange rate. Whatever the reason, the employee who's helping you has no control over the price. Getting upset at them isn't going to get you anywhere.

9. Plan ahead
"My best friend's birthday party is in 25 minutes and you don't have this super obscure book from 20 years ago??? How dare you!" Honestly? How dare YOU!

10. Pretend you're at your grandma's house and clean up after yourself!

We have less time to help customers if we're constantly having to clean up the piles of books/magazines/garbage you leave in your wake. If you don't remember where you got the books from-that's fine! Just leave them by one of the computers or on one of the reshelve carts. But honestly? Garbage? That's not cool. Other people shouldn't have to look, much less touch, the used tissues you leave behind.

I'm sure the closer we get to Christmas and the busier the store gets, I could add to this list but for now, I think this covers it.