Loyalty

'I remember when you went to one gas station, your gas station, no matter what. Now, people just go wherever they have cheaper gas.'

I remember feeling nostalgic when my Dad said this a few years ago. Now, this may make my Dad sound like he's one of those 'back in my day’ kind of old men, and maybe he is. But I also think it shows his sense of loyalty. When I was growing up, we always went to the Esso station to fill up. Not Shell or Petro Canada, always Esso. I had the sense that this was our gas station. It was almost like they were the team I cheered for. I remember not understanding when friends would tell me that their parents got gas at the Husky station. 'Why would you go to the Husky station, when you could go to Esso?' This, somewhat ridiculous, sense of pride in a gas station(I get how crazy that sounds) still has a lingering hold on me. There’s an Esso station a couple blocks from my house and that’s my usual station. I feel slightly out of place when I’m filling up at a Shell station. All that yellow assaults my senses. 

Both of my parents are very loyal people. However, my Dad is loyal to things like gas stations. I think that loyalty also spills over to his possessions. He has a hard time throwing out anything that at one time or another was useful or meaningful in any way. Even if it was 25 years ago. I would guess that, if not for my mom, who gets a great deal of pleasure from purging dusty closets and rarely visited drawers, my Dad would end up on Hoarders. I would say, I’m somewhere in between, but sometimes I see my Dad’s slightly irrational loyalty come out.

For example, I have been known, on occasion, to leave the TV on to lend my ratings to a show, even though I don’t actually watch it. I want to support the actor, producer, or creator of a show. I want them to succeed and feel encouraged in their latest endeavor, so I put the show on, hit mute and go wash my dishes. I know that's insane, even as I write this, I'm shaking my head at myself. I'm bonkers. I get it. But there's a part of me that feels like turning my back on a celebrity that doesn't even know I exist, makes me disloyal. I'm loyal to famous strangers. That is nowhere in the arena of rational thought. But I’ve embraced that personal quirk. I do my best to think logically about things but sometimes I slip up. I can't help it. 

On an unrelated note, JJ Abrams, if you’re reading this, I'm a huge fan. I’m sorry I don't watch Person of Interest. Please don’t take it personally.