I promised I'd change about this time last year
We both know how that went
What does it take to start over again
Step out of comfort my friend
Yes, and change for the better
The first line describes how I have been feeling recently. Last year, at about this time, I started feeling like God had something big for me. Like I was right on the cusp of something extraordinary. I started getting really excited! I was praying about it and wanted to be ready for it, whatever it was, when it came.
Then, I got distracted. I let other events and people in my life distract me and I simply...forgot that I had been intensely listening for God's voice.
Months and months passed and I started feeling restless. The question "What exactly are you doing here?" would pop into my mind on a regular basis. It popped into my mind not in a "I came into the kitchen but I have no idea what exactly I'm doing in here" sort of way but in a "What am I doing with my life?" sort of way.
About a month ago, I began to feel like I was recalling a long lost memory. At first it was kind of fuzzy but slowly I remembered, "Oh right! I was excited about what God was about to do! What happened to that?"
So over the past few weeks, I've been praying, reading my Bible and trying not to get distracted as I wait for direction. In the past, I've been somewhat hesitant to give up certain parts of my life. I'm trying to let those go this time, to "step out of comfort" and "change for the better".
I don't know what this change will look like. It may be small, it may be bigger than I can imagine. I can only hope, that this time around, I'm ready for it.